As a new nurse educator, I had no idea how joy-stealing my journey in nursing education would soon become. As a nurse in the clinical setting for thirty years, I have experienced incivility and bullying behaviors sporadically.

But when I entered nursing education, I was unprepared for the intensity and severity of incivility that was unlike anything I experienced in the clinical setting.

These behaviors included polarizing faculty attitudes toward the department chair and eye-rolling, and denigrating each other openly in faculty staff meetings.

The Purpose of the Pit

Though I tried to keep my head low and focus on my students, the incivility came my way and experienced “withholding information,” “sabotage” that led to “setting me up to fail.” When I was not asked to return after what I thought was a successful school year, I vowed, “Never again!” to continue my career as a nurse educator. I can make more money and have less stress in clinical practice!

I thought I chose the “right” career path pursuing my passion as an educator. Making sacrifices to complete my masters in nursing education that seemed logical just a short time ago, now seemed so wrong and misguided. As I experienced this “pit”, I did not have a perspective to see that God was actually at work in the bottomless, dark pit I was in.

Who Are You?

What defines your identity and worth as a person? I made the mistake of believing that my identity and value as a person was defined by what I do. Do I have value and worth if I am unable to pursue my passion as an educator? Do I even want to go back to teaching and risk being hurt and wounded again?

As I pondered these troubling thoughts, I was reading the 23rd Psalm. It begins, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want; He MAKES me LIE DOWN in green pastures (emphasis mine).

Verse 3 goes on…“He restores my soul.”

Though painful, it became clear that God was using this experience to make me lie down, SLOW down, and rest, so that RESToration could take place in my life.

Though I loved what I was doing as an educator, I had allowed the “tyranny of the urgent”  (be sure to check out the link for an excellent article) to keep me from what was most important in life; my relationship with God my primary purpose and priority in my life.

Just as Joseph could say to his brothers who had thrown him into the pit; “You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good“ (Genesis 50:20), I can now look back and see the good that has come and life lessons I have learned.

I am still standing and pursuing my passion for teaching differently, by serving the needs of nurse educators.  But there is more to my story. It is how God used one person to bring healing to my soul.

Healing Begins

Though I enjoy presenting at conferences, I had a cloud over me when I came to Elsevier’s Faculty Development Institute in 2013. I was deeply wounded by incivility I had recently experienced when a door to teach suddenly and painfully closed.

Patricia Benner was the keynote speaker, and I brought my well-marked copy of Educating Nurses to be signed, which she graciously did the day before.

I presented at a well-received breakout session on “Clinical Reasoning in the Clinical” that situated clinical reasoning and the recommendations from Patricia Benner and her coauthors from Educating Nurses. I finished my session, and several educators made their way up front to talk with me.

Another educator approached from a distance and also made her way up front. Other educators who saw her coming moved out of the way to let her come to meet me. It was Dr. Patricia Benner, and she said,  “We need to talk, and I would like to know if we could meet for lunch.” Of course, I said yes!

During our time together, Dr. Patricia Benner encouraged and affirmed me with healing words that communicated that I had something to contribute to nursing education and needed to stay in the game.

She is one of the reasons I am still doing what I am doing today serving the needs of nurse educators through the clinical reasoning resources I have developed.

Words for the Wounded

I know that I am not alone and that you too may have experienced or are continuing to experience a disrespectful, uncivil work environment. I want to encourage you with lessons I have learned in my journey.

First, give NO ONE the power to steal your joy, as well as your purpose in life! I believe you are an educator for a reason and is not a coincidence. You are needed right where you are, so do not run. Take your stand!

Don’t Let the Villain Win!

Why does every fairy tale have a villain, an adversary who opposes the very purposes of the heroine? It is because fairy tales are true to life. Your life is a story. There is a purpose and destiny to your life that is meant to be lived out and expressed in academia.

But you, too, have a villain, an adversary who wants to take you out and keep you from your calling. In nursing and nursing education, the most common villains are the arrows and wounds that come from incivility brought through others.

If you are experiencing this in your department, seek out the support of others. You are not alone.

If there are strained relationships in your department, reflect and determine if forgiveness needs to be offered. If so, humble yourself and allow restoration of relationships to occur so personal healing can take place and transformation of your relationships can take place first, then begin to tackle your program and implement needed change.

We Need Each Other

Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10.

These words of wisdom were written by Solomon, one of the wisest men and king of ancient Israel over 2,500 years ago. We too need each other to train the next generation of professional nurses. You can’t do it alone so don’t take each other for granted!

Be more like Dr. Patricia Benner and encourage and validate what your colleagues are doing well and call out any disrespectful or uncivil behavior whenever it may occur.

What’s at Stake

If incivility continues to flourish behind the doors of nursing education, many qualified and clinically current educators will likely leave as a result.

Recognizing what is at stake, the ability to attract and retain qualified faculty to train the next generation of professional nurses, it is my hope and prayer that grace and forgiveness would flow freely in our nursing departments to bring healing to those we work with, and ultimately to our profession.

1. Bartholomew, K., (2006), Ending nurse to nurse hostility: Why nurses eat their young and each other. Marblehead, MA: HCPro Incorporated.
2. Johnson, S.J. & Rea, R.E. (2009). Workplace bullying: Concerns for nurse leaders, The Journal of Nursing Administration, 39(2), 84-90.
3. Murray, J.S. (2008). No more nurse abuse, American Nurse Today, 17-19.
4. Clark, C.M., Olender, L., Kenski, D., & Cardoni, C. (2013). Exploring and addressing faculty-to-faculty incivility: A national perspective and literature review, Journal of Nursing Education, 52(4), 211-218.